Mismatch
by TrueBlueSpark
Summary: Orihime's Grand Matchmaking Scheme: Total Success! Ishida kun and Kuchiki san have been spending lots of time together lately! So why on earth doesn't she feel more satisfied with her good work?


**Mismatch  
A Bleach Fanfic by Shay Caron  
Bleach and all characters therein belong to Kubo Tite**

**Chapter 1: The Plan Begins! Uniting the Death God and the Quincy!**

**Warning: this story diverges from the Bleach manga after chapter 182, and it contains spoilers up to that point.**

------------------

It was a bright and clear morning. The slightest breeze blew across the grounds of Karakura High, offsetting the warm weather. Class would begin in a little over a half hour, so the school was very close to empty. But even this early, students were beginning to trickle in.

Ishida Uryuu sat in the shade of a tree, several dozen feet from the school, quietly paging through a book on sewing that he'd found in the library. Everything he had read so far was basic material he'd learned long ago. But the book's writing style was entertaining enough, and at that point Uryuu would have taken almost anything to distract him from the events of the recent past.

A female voice above him said, "Hey, there."

Uryuu flipped forward a few pages. Ah, this chapter discussed more professional techniques. Perhaps the book wasn't a waste after all.

"Oi, Quincy. Are you listening?"

Uryuu scowled. "If you said anything worth hearing, perhaps I --" Wait. Had she just said Quincy? The only girl in Karakura who knew anything about the Quincy was Orihime, now that... And then he finally recognized the voice, and the spiritual energy in front of him. He looked up from his book in shock. "_Kuchiki-san_?"

"Took you long enough, Ishida." Indeed, Kuchiki Rukia stood before him, clad in Karakura High's school uniform, smirking at him from her triumphant pose. (She always had had a bit of a flair for the dramatic. Not that Uryuu himself was innocent of the same, he admitted.) "Good morning," she laughed.

"Ah, good -- good morning," Uryuu managed, rather at a loss. "It is good to see you looking well." Which was true. Rukia seemed in far better shape than she'd been at the execution, and better even than a few weeks ago, when she had seen Uryuu and the others off. But that raised another question. "But weren't you... staying in Soul Society?"

Rukia's smirk widened. "I never said for how _long_," she informed him. "I've been reassigned to my post as acting Death God for the Karakura area. I just needed the time to rest and recover my --" Rukia cut herself off awkwardly, her smile faltering. "Ah..."

Any good mood Uryuu had built up was instantly banished. He returned his irritated glare to the book. "Go ahead, Kuchiki-san, say it. Recover your Death God powers, correct?" So she was bright enough to sense that his Quincy powers were lost, yet too stupid to stop herself from being insensitive. Typical. Damned Death Gods.

"W-what the heck is with that attitude?!" Rukia flared. Interesting, it was usually Ichigo who made her mad like that. Perhaps she wasn't accustomed to being dismissed so easily. "Look at me while I'm talking to you, human!"

Ichigo invariably rose to her insults and jibes (he secretly suspected in more ways than one). Well, Uryuu wouldn't give her that satisfaction. He refused to look up from his book, only saying, "It's simply the attitude you've earned from me."

"And what's _that_ supposed to mean?!" Uryuu simply continued to read, and Rukia seethed silently next to him. After a few moments, out of the corner of his eye, he saw her glance around the field, as if she were searching for something. "A-Anyway, I just had one thing I wanted to ask you," she went on.

Uryuu sighed, much louder than necessary. Anything to get rid of her. "Kurosaki has not arrived at the school yet. In fact, I don't believe he has _ever_ been at this school more than five minutes before the first bell. If your powers have _really_ returned, shouldn't you already realize that?"

"S-Shut up!" she yelled. "It's been a long time since I was in the living world! I still have to get used to --"

"Yes, of course." Uryuu flipped forward to a promising section on collars. After several seconds had passed and her spirit force still hadn't moved, he added, "Don't let me delay you."

Rukia 'hmph'ed and stalked off toward the street, on a path that Uryuu immediately saw would take her straight to the Kurosaki Clinic. He sighed and went back to his reading. Quiet and lonely. That was more like it.

------

Inoue Orihime sighed sadly, from her perch behind the school's front door. "Poor Ishida-kun..." She'd arrived at school early, to turn in an art project from home (a sculpted bust of Mazinkaiser!) and had seen Uryuu through the window after meeting her teacher. Rukia had come up to him and started a conversation, but they'd had some sort of argument...

Orihime knew that Uryuu had feelings for Rukia. He'd taken such care with the dress he'd made her! So as soon as Orihime had seen the petite Death God, she'd been sure that Uryuu would be excited about her return... but that didn't seem to be the case. Perhaps... Ah, that must be it! Uryuu believed Rukia could never feel the same way about him, so seeing her brought up unpleasant memories! And he couldn't figure out how to tell her his feelings, so he said things he didn't mean.

Another sigh. Uryuu was such a kind young man. Most people would never have guessed, but Orihime knew, from the time they'd spent together in Soul Society. Beneath his aloof exterior rested a brilliant mind, and, more importantly, a warm and caring heart. He deserved to be happy... and maybe, just maybe, there was something Orihime could do to help! She pushed the door open and made her way to the tree.

Uryuu glanced up from his book as she approached, giving her a small smile. "Ah, good morning, Inoue-san."

_'Ishida-kun is so brave, putting on a happy face even through his heartbreak!'_ Orihime thought admiringly. "Good morning, Ishida-kun!" she said happily -- but not too happily, she didn't want to make him self-conscious. "How have you been?"

Uryuu rested his head against the tree, looking up into the leaves. "Fairly well, considering. I've mostly caught up to the classwork. And you?"

Orihime smiled, sitting in the grass next to Uryuu and curling her legs underneath her. Uryuu had never seemed comfortable with small talk, so she felt honored that he didn't mind sharing it with her. What a wonderful friend he was. She said, "I'm doing very well, thank you. I just turned in my sculpture project for art. The teacher really liked it!"

"Congratulations, Inoue-san," Uryuu said pleasantly. "I'm sure it's very well done."

Orihime beamed. "Thank you, Ishida-kun!" Uryuu was so nice, when a person got to know him. Rukia would be so happy with him! Now, down to business. She contrived to sound as innocent as she could. "So... Has anything interesting happened lately?"

"No, nothing, really." Uryuu paused, looking thoughtful for a moment, and added, "Ah, I'm sorry. There is one thing. Kuchiki-san has returned from Soul Society. Apparently she'll be attending class with us again."

"Oh, really?" Orihime clapped her hands together and did her best to act surprised. "How wonderful!" she gushed. "Kuchiki-san is such a nice person, isn't she?" Inside she was squealing, _'I knew it! Ishida-kun is trying to act nonchalant, but he really _is _excited!'_

Uryuu looked a bit surprised. "Nice? I... suppose so. She's relatively sane, compared to many of those Death Gods."

"Mm!" Orihime nodded enthusiastically. "It will be so nice to have her around again! After all the pain and trouble she went through in Soul Society, hopefully she'll be able to relax here now!"

Uryuu nodded and said, "Yes." The thoughtful expression returned to his face, mixed with a bit of... Was that worry? Guilt, perhaps? Orihime could read people's expressions okay, but Uryuu had always been somewhat inscrutable. But this was a good sign!

Orihime gave Uryuu her warmest smile, before getting to her feet and brushing off her skirt. "Well, I should get to the classroom and get ready for the quiz. Have a good day, Ishida-kun!"

"You too, Inoue-san," he replied, returning to his book thoughtfully.

Orihime smiled fondly and returned to the school. _'Good luck, Ishida-kun!'_ she thought as she went. _'Kuchiki-san can't help but fall for you!'_

------

Kuchiki Rukia scowled at her juice box. This day had not been going as she'd planned. First Uryuu had snapped at her, which she'd probably deserved, but still. Then at the clinic Ichigo's father had acted so _weird_ when she showed up. And Ichigo himself... That jerk just had to start an argument, didn't he? Honestly, why did he have to get so protective? If she weren't fully recovered, she wouldn't have _been_ there in the first place. And so by the time they'd reached lunchtime, her good mood was completely and totally gone.

Pushing the door open, Rukia glanced up from her contemplation of the juice box to see Uryuu approaching her. "Ah, Kuchiki-san?" he asked tentatively. "May I have a moment?"

Lovely, was he here to reassert the superiority of the Quincy, perhaps? Needle her about Ichigo again? "What do you want?" she asked shortly.

Uryuu sighed and tugged at his school tie uncomfortably. "I just wanted to... apologize," he finally said -- much to Rukia's surprise. "For this morning. I shouldn't have gotten upset the way I did, but --"

Rukia held up a hand to stop him. "Ah, there's no need, Ishida. I understand." And with a bit of surprise, she realized that she _did_. She'd come close to losing her own powers permanently, thanks to the Hougyoku and Urahara's faux body. If she _had_ lost them, after all the training, all the experiences, all the time spent just _being_ a Death God...

She looked at Uryuu, and suddenly she couldn't help but smile. Really, it was impressive he was only _this_ upset.

Uryuu looked a bit startled at her sudden smile. "Wh-what is it?"

"Oh, nothing," Rukia responded airily. "I accept your apology, Uryuu-kun."

"Excuse me? _Who_ said you were allowed to call me that?"

Rukia laughed innocently. "So who was it who put you up to it, anyway?" She couldn't imagine him offering an apology simply out of the goodness of his heart.

"Put me _up_ to it?" Uryuu repeated, putting on a look of feigned offense. "Nonsense. I simply... realized that I would prefer to have you as a friend, rather than an enemy."

A pause, as Rukia pondered this. Finally she said, "Well, that's fine with me too. Thank you."

"Of course. Then, until later."

Uryuu nodded politely and moved on to eat his lunch, and Rukia smiled slightly, before skipping toward the tree where Orihime and her friends sat. _'Maybe he's not all bad after all,'_ she thought. Then she snickered. _'Only mostly.'_

------

"Ah, Kuchiki-san, hello!" Orihime waved enthusiastically as Rukia approached the group.

"Ahhhh, good afternoon, Inoue-san!" Rukia responded, with her typical enthusiasm. It was so nice to see her smiling again! Could it be from her conversation with Uryuu just now?

Orihime smiled to herself. "How has your day been, Kuchiki-san?"

Rukia beamed at her. "Oh, it's going quite well, thank you."

"Did you have a good summer break, Kuchiki-san?" Michiru asked happily.

Rukia and Orihime exchanged a look. "Oh, it was alright," Rukia replied after a moment. "My big brother was being obnoxious for a while, but everything calmed down by the end of the break."

"That's good!" Michiru chirped. "Have you seen the new reality show they started during the break?"

In this way the lunch period went on, with pleasant small talk and good meals. (Orihime was glowing with happiness -- Rukia liked her marshmallow-and-jelly sandwiches!) The conversation wandered all across the map, as conversations involving Orihime are wont to do. And soon enough, an opportunity arose.

"Yeah, the Paradise Kiss live-action movie is finally out! It's in the theater downtown starting today."

"Paradise Kiss..." Rukia paused for a moment, then her face lit up. "Oh, I remember that manga! They made a movie for it?"

"You've read Paradise Kiss, Kuchiki-san?" Mahana asked curiously.

"Yes, Ich -- ah -- a friend's little sister let me borrow some of it."

Mahana chuckled. "Well, anyway, I hear it got good reviews. Too bad I've got that part-time job or we could go see it tonight."

Orihime beamed. She was only a little familiar with Paradise Kiss, but the movie sounded fun! "I don't have anything to do after school! But it wouldn't be much fun to go alone." She turned a questioning gaze on everyone else. "You guys aren't busy too, are you?"

Michiru sighed, "Sorry, Orihime-chan, but my parents are having family over tonight, so I have to be there."

Ryou looked up from her book and shook her head. "I'm afraid it really doesn't sound like my thing. We can catch another movie sometime, though."

In one of her uncharacteristic sedate moments, Chizuru said, "I've got an extra-credit project I've gotta finish up tonight." She sighed dramatically and went on, "Otherwise, my darling Hime, I'd _gladly_ snuggle up with you in the back of a dark theater!" (Alright, scratch the 'sedate' bit.)

"Awww," Orihime pouted in her semi-childish manner. "Kuchiki-san, Tatsuki-chan, how about you?"

Rukia tilted her head. "I don't really have to be at my job until late. I'd like to see it with you, Inoue-san!" She smiled brilliantly, and Orihime returned the smile with glee.

"Sorry, Orihime," Tatsuki put in, "but it'll hafta just be the two of ya. Next tournament's comin' up, and I promised my _sensei_ I'd do some trainin' with him tonight."

Another pout. But Orihime understood how important the tournament was to Tatsuki. "Aww, I understand. You've got to keep working hard so you can be the strongest girl in Japan!"

"Hah, I'm already the strongest, they just don't know it yet!"

The girls laughed, and the conversation drifted on once again. Soon lunch period was over, and the girls packed up their lunches and headed back to class. But as Orihime contemplated her math notes, she realized there was an equation at work here!

_'Orihime plus Kuchiki-san... plus _Ishida-kun... minus _Orihime... equals perfect date!'_

------

"Ishida-kun! We're going to see ParaKiss, do you want to come?"

At this hyperactively delivered query, Uryuu could only blink. "I'm sorry, what was that, Inoue-san?"

Orihime grinned disarmingly and waved her index finger to emphasize her words. "Paradise Kiss! The movie comes out today, so me and Tatsuki-chan and Kuchiki-san and everybody are going to see it tonight! Do you want to come along too?"

"Ah, does it?" Uryuu was never particularly up-to-date on popular culture, but he _did_ remember hearing that Paradise Kiss had a movie in the works. He'd thought the manga had some very interesting designs, and it _would_ be fun to see how the director translated them into live-action. "I'd like that, Inoue-san," he finally said aloud. "Thank you for the invitation."

"Of course, Ishida-kun!" Orihime cheerfully replied. "We're meeting at the statue by the theater right after school! See you then!"

She bounded off, full of energy as always, and Uryuu couldn't help but smile a bit, watching her return to her seat before he gave his studies his attention again.

------

Rukia was lost. She would have denied it strenuously if anyone asked, but she could admit it to herself. Orihime had given her directions, but she was still accustomed to traveling Karakura as a Death God, via rooftop and telephone pole, and the landmarks looked different from the ground. She thought she'd found the statue that was near the theater, but Orihime's distinctive orange-brown hair was nowhere to be seen...

Squeezing through the small crowd, she accidentally bumped into someone's back. "Ah, sorry," she said quickly.

"Kuchiki-san?"

Rukia's head tilted up at the familiar voice. "Uryuu-kun!" Uryuu was standing before her, wearing neither a school uniform nor his Quincy outfit. This was only the second time she'd ever seen him in something that could be called "casual". It was almost disorienting.

Uryuu gave her an unamused look. "Why are you still calling me that?"

Not to be outdone, Rukia responded with her perkiest smile. "Because it annoys you," she chirped happily.

"Well, if you're going to be like that, I shall just stop reacting to it."

"Are you really even capable of that, _Uryuu-kun_?"

"More so than you are capable of controlling your mouth. Honestly..." Uryuu scowled and turned half-away, but Rukia had a feeling that it was mainly for show. Not that she was the best judge of that sort of thing, by any means. But an argument that _didn't_ escalate into yelling and fist-shaking was something of a novelty, and Rukia found that she was enjoying it.

She decided to raise the stakes. Rukia wasn't sure, she _might_ have just been imagining the Quincy's occasional glances, but... "Come on. I can't imagine you'd be complaining so much if your _Inoue-san_ called you that..."

Uryuu blushed bright, taking a step back from Rukia. _'Bulls-eye,'_ she thought gleefully. "D-Don't be stupid!" he said. "She's not '_my_ Inoue-san'..." He scowled and put his hands in his pockets.

"Sheesh, you sure are sensitive, eh?" When he didn't respond, Rukia chuckled. "Alright, alright. I actually need to ask you if you've _seen_ Inoue-san. I'm supposed to meet her to watch that Paradise Kiss movie."

Uryuu pursed his lips. "No, I haven't seen her," he replied. "She said she'd be watching it with you and her other friends, and she invited me to meet you here, in front of the statue."

"Friends? No, nobody else could make it. It was just going to be me and Inoue-san."

"How strange." Uryuu leaned against the statue, arms crossed. "If I didn't know better, I'd say that we'd been set up."

Rukia froze. "Set up? It's a trap?!" She grabbed at the Soul Candy dispenser in her pocket. Damn it, had Aizen gotten to Orihime and --

Uryuu blinked at her in mild confusion. "No, no, not _that_ kind of set up. I mean... It's as if Inoue-san is setting us up on a _date_."

"A date? Me? With _you_?"

"You needn't sound quite _that_ shocked, you know," Uryuu replied dryly.

Rukia frowned at him, brow furrowed. "No, sorry, it's just... Why would Inoue-san want the two of us to start dating?"

Uryuu sighed darkly. "Most likely to clear the way to Kurosaki."

"_What_?"

"Isn't it obvious? You can't have missed how she feels about him." Uryuu had a dark look on his face -- not that Rukia could blame him, if the girl he probably liked was crazy about the boy he _definitely_ couldn't stand. "And if you were going out with me, then Kurosaki would be alone, quite possibly heartbroken --"

Now Rukia could feel _herself_ blushing. What the hell was the Quincy imagining? "I-Idiot! Like he would be!"

"-- and that would leave Inoue-san the chance to be with him herself."

Rukia scowled up at him. "You're not making any sense. Even if... I agreed with that assessment..." Damn it, she was still blushing. "That just isn't like Inoue-san. It doesn't _sound_ like her."

"I..." Uryuu started to retort, but apparently thought better of it. "No, you're right, of course," he said. "She might trick us, but never for a selfish reason. But then why..."

Rukia frowned as she thought it over. Uryuu's opinion matched hers -- Orihime would only try to matchmake if she thought they _wanted_ to date each other. Or one of them did, anyway. Now, had the bright-eyed girl ever given any hints that she thought that?

Light dawned. "That's it! The dress!"

"Excuse me?"

Rukia held up her index finger demonstratively. "When Inoue-san gave me the dress you made for me, in Soul Society. She said you made it, and then she whispered, 'Take good care of it!' As if it were the most important thing in the world."

Uryuu blushed slightly and pushed up his glasses. "I-Is that so?"

"So clearly, she must have thought that you gave me that gift because you're in love with me." Rukia beamed, proud of her deduction.

Uryuu's jaw dropped, and he scowled and glared at the ground. "That... makes an annoying amount of sense. Honestly... Didn't she even notice how much care I put into stitching the lace onto her shirt? I made a shirt for Sado-kun too, and I certainly hope she doesn't think I'm in love with _him_!" He practically looked like he'd forgotten Rukia was there.

"You realize what you just admitted, don't you?" Rukia laughed.

"Wha -- I -- just..." Uryuu sputtered. After a moment, though, he said, "Well... I suppose I can at least admit something to _you_. You're one of the sanest people in Karakura, even if you are a Death God --"

"Thank you," Rukia chirped. For him, this was a glowing compliment.

"-- and pining after Kurosaki like you are," he went on, "you hardly have room to talk about me pining after Inoue-san."

What -- pining? Her? How absurd could the boy get? "Wh-What the heck is that supposed to mean?!"

Uryuu gave her that thrice-damned Quincy smirk of his. "I think the meaning was fairly obvious."

Rukia fumed. Honestly, 'pining'. But to be fair, she _had_ been pestering him about Orihime. "Alright," she finally said. "How about if we call a truce? I'll back off about Inoue-san if you leave me alone about Ichigo."

Uryuu nodded. "That sounds fair enough."

"Good. Now, are we going to watch this movie or not?"

A startled look. "I -- wait, what?"

"Well," Rukia said with a smirk, "date or no date, we both want to see it, right?"

Uryuu paused, then smiled and held out his elbow. "You have a point. Shall we?"

Rukia summoned up all the poise and class of a true Kuchiki and took his arm. "Naturally."

------

"I've finally figured out who that Isabella reminded me of."

"Oh?"

"Ayasegawa-san."

A chuckle. "You mean the fellow with the feathers --"

"_Exactly_. Doesn't it fit?"

"Well, it's hardly a perfect parallel, but I see what you mean."

As Quincy and Death God stepped out of the dark theater and into the glow of sunset, Uryuu smiled lightly. That evening hadn't been anything like he'd expected it would be, but he'd had a very nice time. The movie had been quite enjoyable, and he and Rukia had managed some pleasant conversation during the lulls.

It was funny that things had gone so well; if he'd tried to imagine watching a movie with Kuchiki Rukia, he would have immediately thought that the two hours would be incredibly awkward. He'd have imagined they would never find anything in common. But they'd both been perfectly at ease, probably because there was no danger of romance rearing its head. And in spite of their differences, they _were_ rather similar in personality.

"So, you never did explain to me exactly how that 'movie' worked," Rukia pointed out.

Uryuu blinked down at her. "Ah, I'm sorry. When they record the movie, they place a series of images on a long strip of film. Then the images are displayed one after another, so quickly that the human eye can't distinguish between them." He wasn't remotely satisfied with that description, but it was the best he could do without any reference material on hand.

Rukia didn't seem to mind it, though. After a moment's thought, she brought her fist down into her palm. "I see! It's like a flipbook!"

"Ah, yes, exactly like a flipbook." Uryuu was a bit surprised, but he realized belatedly that he shouldn't be. Underneath her naïveté about the living world, Rukia was indeed very intelligent.

"So how do they record the sound?"

Uryuu frowned. "Hm. That, Kuchiki-san, I'm afraid I couldn't explain without reference material. It has to do with the vibration of the air..."

"Still 'Kuchiki-san'?" Rukia chuckled, nudging him with her elbow. "Under the circumstances, Uryuu-kun, you are welcome to call me Rukia."

"R... Rukia?" It sounded strange coming from his mouth. He considered her a friend, yes, but it was too informal for him to use so suddenly... Uryuu paused, then said, "How about a compromise? Rukia-san."

Rukia tilted her head, then with a laugh, replied, "I can live with that."

"Actually, you _can't_, technically --"

"Oh, shut up, you know what I mean."

------

Night fell, as it tends to do. Kurosaki Ichigo had had another average day -- that is to say, he spent every waking moment scowling. And this moment, as he eyed Rukia suspiciously, was no different. "So where the heck were _you_ all night?"

Rukia was flitting around the room humming as they got ready. Acting really weird. It was their first nightly patrol since the whole Soul Society mess started, shouldn't she be more focused? She stopped and smirked at him. "I went to see that movie. You know, the one you weren't interested in?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that stupid girly one, gotcha. You go with Inoue and the other girls?"

"No," Rukia replied cheerfully, "just with Uryuu-kun." She popped a Soul Candy into her mouth and leapt neatly from her body. "Are we going to patrol or what?" she asked him, before taking her leave through the window.

"Oi, wait up, Rukia," he growled, without putting much force behind it. He reached for Kon's Soul Candy absent-mindedly. What an annoying girl. How did he get stuck with...

Wait a minute.

"_What_ the hell did you just call Ishida?" Ichigo shouted, leaping out the window after her.

------

"Sheesh, what's with them?"

"Who knows, pyon."

------------------

**Mismatch, Chapter 1  
2007-02-01 -- Complete  
**


End file.
